Galletas es muy yummy. (Cookies are muy yummy)

Ahhhh!

I don't even know where to start. The weather today was/is amazing. It's like 72 degrees out and it's February. As nice as the weather is, a whole new set of problems develops under the surface of the bubbly May-warm waters. Those problems aside, (we'll touch on them later), I've been feeling weird lately. I'm used to getting the deja-vu. Anyone who survived the 2007-2008 school year in my friends group gets the deja-vu, I think.

But lately? Jeez.

Every time a song comes on, I feel like I'm sitting on my bed, black curtains pulled back so the April/May sunshine could brighten my room, playing Spyro Ripto's Rage. I want it to stop. 8th grade it over. It will never happen again. My friends are different. I am different. We are not close like we used to be. Nicole and I are no longer best friends. Sam and Chris are no longer in all of my classes. The weather isn't as nice as it was then (thought today is a beautiful exception). The Devils aren't unvictorious against the Rangers and Islanders. Jeff Kummer is no longer with Your Sweet Uncertainty. Miss Sherarer and Ms. Silvers aren't my teachers anymore. My surgery scar is no longer fresh and awesome looking. No more Life Skills, no more Woodshop, no more B-wing bathrooms with tomb-sized stalls. No more 'Scott Stevens 4-for-40 promotions'. No more taking Chris's Pringles and water bottles. No more Jolly Ranchers from Spanish. No more enrichment. At the time all of this happened, I hated it. SO WHY THE HELL DO I WANT IT BACK SO MUCH? Why is it haunting me?! Why is April & May stuck in my head so badly?

I swear to God, all I can think about for these last few days is what it felt like when I was living through it. Every day, I sat on my bed. I got the PS2 out. I played Spyro II: Ripto's Rage. I listened to the Naked Brothers Band album 'I Don't Want To Go To School' and to Your Sweet Uncertainty's self-titled album. I pulled back the black curtains I used to keep light out so I didn't have to turn the lamp on. I liked the way sunlight looked rather than lamp light. I remember playing that one bonus level in Spyro where the mayor of the city wanted you to stop crime by flying with Hunter. I want to forget it ever happened.

On a side note, I can't stop eating junk food because I stress eat.

And I'm pissed at Sam.

And I like goalie.

I know people said being a teenager is confusing and stressful but this is freaking ridiculous.

Nothing else to say. I'll end this entry with a fitting song. Play me out, Natalie!

And sometimes I don't have the energy,
To prove everybody wrong.
And I try my best to be strong,
But you know, it's so hard.
It's so hard.