JUNE 21ST, 2008!!

June 21st, 2008 was an interesting to say the very least. Red Wood Drift was holding another weekly session of band practice at Tori’s house. While it was only 85 degrees outside, it was about 110 degrees inside Tori’s house. “Can we turn on the air conditioner?” I pleaded from my spot in the center of the room where I sat atop a wooden barstool, adjusting the microphone stand that was too high for me. “I’m begging you, Tor. This is getting ridiculous.” “I can’t, bro. My mom will flip out on me.” She responded dully from her seat in the corner. She was struggling to tune her guitar but it was just one of those days where the guitar did not want to be tuned. “Where’s Costello?” I glanced over at my cell phone where the time stamp in the corner read ‘4:59 PM’. “Technically,” I began, leaning forward to fasten the stand for the last time. “He isn’t late yet. Practice was set for 5:00.” “Whatever, bro.” Tori said, shaking her head as she played a string to test it. I looked back at my cell phone and watched the time tick to 5:00 and then to 5:01. “Yo, is Sam coming?” I shrugged, running my fingers through my hair that was now sticking to my forehead. I wore a dark-red Kum Sung Camp T-shirt, bright red half-flowered, half-skulled boy’s swim trunks (hey man, don’t judge. They’re comfortable!) and a red tank top. There was a color-theme that day, I presume. I always liked the color red but the summer of 2008 was my chance to ‘Rock-the-Red’ for the Devils who didn’t make it very far in the playoffs. “She said she’d be here.” And as if it were scripted, Sam appeared on the doorstep, knocking at the entrance. “COME IN!” I yelled, as was custom to greet the visitors at the Gil household. Sam walked into the extraordinarily overheated abode and waved to me. She did not wave to Tori which I, for one, found odd. In case you readers have forgotten, Sam and Tori started ‘going out’ (is that what these kids are calling it these days?) 10 days before this event. Frankly, I did NOT want to get involved with whatever these two decided was going on between them. I had enough going on in my own life at this point to try to ignore other people’s problems. Even though they were two of my best friends, I knew this was a weird and awkward situation that came as a semi-shock to the group. “Hi.” Tori said, not looking up from her guitar. Sam didn’t respond immediately (or verbally) and just slightly nodded her chin as a ‘greeting’. I rolled my eyes. Another annoying point about these two was that they had the communication skills of 18-month-olds. “I’m going to call Christopher.” I said, attempting to excuse myself. As if that were scripted also, Chris walked into the house holding the case for his bass guitar. “Hey dudes.” He said with smile. “You have bad timing.” I whispered to him. He peered over my shoulder and looked over at Sam and Tori, uncomfortably tried to avoid eye-contact with each other. “It’s a little uneasy in here.” “Why?” He asked, then seemed to realize exactly why and laughed quietly to himself. “Ohh…right.” I nodded.

2008.

So I just read Sam's blog. Alright, I always read Sam's blogs but the one I read tonight made me think. Why? Well, because she said that 'no one will ever understand'. And that is untrue. I know what it's like to remember everything. I know what it's like to have a song come on your iPod that makes you cringe. I know what it's like to walk outside when it's strangely warm out and to feel this weird knot in your stomach because you remember when it felt like that May and you were getting on the bus in shorts, listening to the same song you had on. I know what it's like and I understand.

Alright, maybe it's true. Maybe I didn't feel the complete emotional trauma that Sam had. I wasn't in love with a girl last year causing extreme confusion and pain. Maybe that makes my 2008 less traumatic. But I had a best friend who I worshiped like a god for 3 years, only for her to abandon me, date a kid I liked for years, let her family and friends verbally abuse me on every given occasion and just feel like I wasn't worth having a best friend because clearly I wasn't good enough. You know it isn't healthy when the person with whom you once shared your life secrets with now makes you uncomfortable. I can't talk to her without looking at my feet and pretending that I have nothing to say. When I see my old 'best friend' in the hallway, I'm hit with a rush of anger and sadness and I feel like I could possibly have Hulk-like strength that could enable me to punch a hole into a door.

When certain songs come on my iPod, I feel it in my stomach and in my chest. I can recall exactly why the song makes me feel that way. Most of the songs on the Naked Brothers Band CD and the Your Sweet Uncertainty CD are the songs that are poison to my mind. I can't really explain it or understand it and frankly I don't really want to because even if I understood it, I couldn't stop it. I just want things to go back to how they were. It doesn't help that Chris does to a different school. It doesn't help that Sam decided to never go to school again and leave me there to fend for myself in my first year of hell-ish high school. It doesn't help that I feel alone all the time. It doesn't help that the songs that drive my mind to insanity are the songs that make me feel slightly closer to the past events that I crave.

I once joked that when people talk about the 2007-2008 school year, they will simply reply with 'I have nothing to say' due to the fact that it was so complicated and emotionally draining that it was simply easier to avoid comment or remembrance. I wasn't joking, after all.

Presidents Weekend Day 4

Ah, another day off from school. Thank you Presidents Weekend.

Today, I watched 'Top Gun' today. Adrian Pasdar is in that movie and since it was from 1986, 23 years ago, Adrian was 19. He was hot then, too.



'Top Gun' is a great movie, too. It was from before Tom Cruise was jumping-on-a-couch-worshiping-a-dead-science-fiction-writer crazy. He actually used to be pretty cute.

Tomorrow I have school. I hate school.

Fan Fiction

Well, I'm watching 'Heroes' and Sylar just totally went from good to evil in two hours. Yeah, in the previous episode, him and Elle totally hooked up on the floor of that house that they just tried to kill Noah and Claire in. Now he just killed her. I hate Sylar but I also hate Elle.

Oh yeah, fan fiction is evil. If you don't know what fan fiction is, I envy you. In a nutshell, fan fiction is when a fan of a show or book series writes their own short-story staring the characters. I stumbled across a 'Grey's Anatomy' fan fiction site where some people are very, uhm, open about what they'd love to see some of the characters do...like together. Bleh. Callie and Erica fan fiction will make you want to boil your eyes.

Tomorrow I attempt to shoot a music video with Christopher.

That's all I got for now.

Cool Myspace Generators

Art.

This is Patrick Kane of the Chicago Blackhawks. He would look like that if he was a South Park character. Notice how similar the hair is.



This is Jonathan Toews of the Chicago Blackhawks. He would look like that if he was a South Park character. Again, very similar hair.

That is all.

Galletas es muy yummy. (Cookies are muy yummy)

Ahhhh!

I don't even know where to start. The weather today was/is amazing. It's like 72 degrees out and it's February. As nice as the weather is, a whole new set of problems develops under the surface of the bubbly May-warm waters. Those problems aside, (we'll touch on them later), I've been feeling weird lately. I'm used to getting the deja-vu. Anyone who survived the 2007-2008 school year in my friends group gets the deja-vu, I think.

But lately? Jeez.

Every time a song comes on, I feel like I'm sitting on my bed, black curtains pulled back so the April/May sunshine could brighten my room, playing Spyro Ripto's Rage. I want it to stop. 8th grade it over. It will never happen again. My friends are different. I am different. We are not close like we used to be. Nicole and I are no longer best friends. Sam and Chris are no longer in all of my classes. The weather isn't as nice as it was then (thought today is a beautiful exception). The Devils aren't unvictorious against the Rangers and Islanders. Jeff Kummer is no longer with Your Sweet Uncertainty. Miss Sherarer and Ms. Silvers aren't my teachers anymore. My surgery scar is no longer fresh and awesome looking. No more Life Skills, no more Woodshop, no more B-wing bathrooms with tomb-sized stalls. No more 'Scott Stevens 4-for-40 promotions'. No more taking Chris's Pringles and water bottles. No more Jolly Ranchers from Spanish. No more enrichment. At the time all of this happened, I hated it. SO WHY THE HELL DO I WANT IT BACK SO MUCH? Why is it haunting me?! Why is April & May stuck in my head so badly?

I swear to God, all I can think about for these last few days is what it felt like when I was living through it. Every day, I sat on my bed. I got the PS2 out. I played Spyro II: Ripto's Rage. I listened to the Naked Brothers Band album 'I Don't Want To Go To School' and to Your Sweet Uncertainty's self-titled album. I pulled back the black curtains I used to keep light out so I didn't have to turn the lamp on. I liked the way sunlight looked rather than lamp light. I remember playing that one bonus level in Spyro where the mayor of the city wanted you to stop crime by flying with Hunter. I want to forget it ever happened.

On a side note, I can't stop eating junk food because I stress eat.

And I'm pissed at Sam.

And I like goalie.

I know people said being a teenager is confusing and stressful but this is freaking ridiculous.

Nothing else to say. I'll end this entry with a fitting song. Play me out, Natalie!

And sometimes I don't have the energy,
To prove everybody wrong.
And I try my best to be strong,
But you know, it's so hard.
It's so hard.

Post-Loss Part 1

Oy vey, this was a long day (ignore the rhyme). Between the merciless stomach pains I've been having for 48 hours and the disappointing crushing defeat my hockey team suffered last night in our last game, this day seemed to go on for months. Every little thing annoys me today, every little sound hurts my head and everyone moving and talking is making me angry. This isn't a good sign. I'm turning back into angry-Kristyn. I thought that I had gotten at least a little softer since last year when I was a little on the dark-and-twisty side. Still, it was a rough day.

It got off to a bad start when my iPod decided to do the usual 'freeze-up-and-drop-down-three-battery-bars-in-three-seconds'. That pisses me off to no end. Seriously? Why do the silver nanos do that? With my iPod already on the 'red-danger-zone-low-battery-mode', I headed to hell...err...school. My first class is algebra and I don't understand a word of what my teacher is saying. I just cannot focus in that class. Whenever she starts explaining a concept, my mind zones out and goes to my hockey fantasy (now, before my smartmouth friends make some mean jokes at me due to the fact that 'hockey' and 'fantasy' were used in the same sentence there, let me explain)

My hockey fantasy is an actual sports-based idea. Here it is:

I am sitting on the bench because my shift isn't out yet. Both teams are swarming the net of the opposing goalie. The puck gets loose and everyone rushes to the other net. One of my teammates gets checked and struggles to his feet near the opposing goalie. He gets up and comes to the bench where I hop on the ice to take his place. Suddenly, the puck is cleared on a long pass where it makes contact with my stick. I have a huge opportunity. I break away, charging the net. I fake a forehand and the goalie, clearly confused that I had the puck, jumps forward for the poke check. I manage to deke the puck around him, giving me the whole net to shoot at. I backhand the puck as hard as I can and it sails into the net; top-left corner. The bench erupts.

That is my hockey fantasy. It is much better than math class.

Then, there's gym class. I kind of like gym only because my new-found crush is in the same gym period as me. Yes, I like this new kid. I decided I had to like someone and he was the perfect canidate. He's got a BOY haircut. He wears his pants actually on his waist. He wears clothes with sports logos on it. He's kind of a jackass but I think he's pretty cute. He plays on my hockey team. I call him 'goalie', for obvious reasons. I also never use his name because there is one player on my hockey team, let's call him Charlie, is a half-friend; sometimes nice, sometimes not. I do not wish for him and his big-Charlie-mouth to tell the entire hockey team who I'm crushing on. So aside from the fact that I saw Goalie once in the hallway (yesterday, I think) and my face turned the color of a cherry, I think I'll be okay.

I've been kind of angry today because last night at our last game, before the game ended with us losing horribly, there was an incident. See, the play had stopped. The referee had blown his whistle and we were going to a face off when all of a sudden, some jagoff on the other team came by and elbowed one of the girl players on my team, let's call her Leah, in the neck/face mask. Leah, a badass senior who is a very talented skater and hockey player, was unhappy with that. After screaming some things I'm censoring for this blog, she punched him in the helmet and went to tackle him. It took a referee and two players to restrain Leah who headed to the penalty box where she served a coincidental and threw her gloves, stick and helmet at the glass.

What makes me really, really mad was what happened off the ice. Apparently, one of the adults (I'm assuming the father of the jagoff who hit Leah) was in the mood to mouth of. This man decided to yell to the ice: "KICK HER OUT OF THE GAME! THIS IS WHY CHICKS SHOULDN'T PLAY THE SPORT!!!"

Grrr. Nothing makes me angrier. There is a girl who plays hockey for one of our sister-schools is so much better than every guy I've ever seen play. I mean, this girl looks like she should be on the Flyers. I've never seen someone skate like her. Even the 3 other girls on my team are good! Why are people so damn stupid that they don't understand that just because we're girls doesn't mean we can't play hockey. Who cares if it's a male dominated sport? If we lived in Vancouver, there'd be 6 girl leauges just for our township. But now, I have to live in this gay part of the world where hockey is underrated and squashed by football and soccer and girls are frowned upon for lacing up their skates and stepping foot in a face off circle. I just hate people in general right now.

Plus Sam just called me and told me that she apparently did something that I am going to get mad at her for. Awesome.

Things I've Learned

Just some random tidbits of information that I have learned:

1. If you're going to whisper that you hate someone, actually whisper it.

2. When a teacher says to talk to her about your grade after class, it means after class.

3. Depending on what sense you mean it in, learn to spell 'come' by yourself.

4. 'Safe Search' on Google was created to help you. Use it.

5. Martin Brodeur's elbow-muscles aren't as resilient as they once were.

6. Thinking all Americans look the same is racist.

7. Spamming someone's phone with gay dating sites is not the ultimate revenge.

8. Hockey checks are the ultimate revenge.

9. 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' isn't very curious. It's just gay.

10. 'Juno' must be destroyed.

11. Sean Avery is still an idiot.

12. In a life-or-death situation, your body will physically stop you from saying something mega-stupid.

13. If you're going to stop a slap shot with a part of your body, pick your shins. They have more

padding than your hands do with gloves.

14. I'm allergic to Honey-Suckle-scented lotion from that store in the mall.

15. Ralphie May has never been snorkl'n in the oc'hin.

16. The fact that we're playing Montreal will not stop Devils fans from chanting 'The Rangers Suck'.

17. Natalie Maines doesn't like Niki Sanders.

18. Lil Wayne follows around the Boston Bruins to make money to afford pot.

19. Kevin Weekes likes Rubix Cubes.

And possibly the most important...

20. WHEN IN A HOCKEY LOCKER ROOM, IF YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE OFF YOUR JOCK-STRAP AND BOXERS, LOOK AROUND TO SEE IF THERE IS AN INTERVIEW CAMERA BROADCASTING LIVE TO ESPN! YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU'LL BE IN THE FRAME!

Lil Wayne Is Gay - by Howard Stern

Hey now. This is Howard Stern. I decided to take a break from my busy radio show on Sirius Radio (Howard 100 and 101 for those who want to tune in tomorrow) to talk about something important on my friend Kristyn's blog. What I wanted to talk about is very serious and is a pandemic sweeping the nation; Lil Wayne is gay.

I'm not kidding. Lil Wayne claims to be a Boston Bruins fan. Well, I know Boston Bruins goalie, Tim Thomas, very well. He's been a fan of the show for years now and we talk on a regular basis. Timmy told me that Lil Wayne follows the team around the country and told star defenseman Zdeno Chara how he fantasizes about him and many other players including Marc Savard. Now, at first, I didn't believe it either. But my good friend Timmy provided pictures. Like this one:



Now, I don't judge. I mean, I'm married to a super model, I'm a comedic genius and I have millions of dollars but I've got problems too. So I don't judge anyone. But Lil Wayne, for as untalented as he is, he thinks he's amazing. And on top of that, he likes dudes! Well guys, I've got to go. Artie's calling me right now about the Grammys. I guess Justin Timberlake didn't win...I told Artie not to bet on him.

I hope you enjoyed this rant. Keep reading Kristyn's blog.

-Howard Stern.

Do you want to know what's so cute?

Man, I hate it when the Devils lose. We didn't lose because we played poorly (we did play poorly, but not poorly enough to lose the LA Kings!) but because the referee's were idiots. Patrik Elias was called for a 'high-stick' when he hit a guy with his shoulder. They didn't call a penalty on a King who hooked Jamie Lang's by his ankles. They gave one King a penalty shot!! None of this would've happened if they gave Kevin Weeksie one more shot.



My hockey misery aside, I had a good day. Sam came over for the first time since like August and we watched this horrid hockey game mentioned above. We also watched some of the Vancouver/Chicago game (which I'm still watching) where one of the Baby Blackhawks got called for a 'high stick'. I didn't believe it was a penalty until I saw the guy who Baby Jonathan Toews hit; he was bleeding from his mouth...a lot. I mean a lot. There are two Baby Blackhawks; Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane. There's an article in Sports Illustrated where they're talking to Patrick Kane. Patrick is adorable but honsetly looks like he's in the 10th grade. In the intrview for Sports Illustrated, Patrick said his favorite show was 'Family Guy', his favorite musical artist is Lil Wayne and that he cannot grow a beard. Like I said, 10th grader. Jonathan Toews looks like a 7th grader. Don't believe me?



Keep in mind that they're both 20 years old!!

I'm tired so I'm going to head to sleep.

Skill point.

Clarky hearts. <3

Hey Now!

Why would I make another blog, you ask? Well, to put simply, I do not know. I just read Sam's newest (old) blog that originally wasn't a blog. It was inspiring. You'd understand if you knew Sam like I know her. In a weird way, it's really good to hear the things she said (err...wrote.)

Anyways, this is my diary. Chris sort of has one and Sam uses her's sometimes too so I think i want to go back and blog about what happens to me as well as blogging on my hockey blog that I adore.

But, bleh. I feel so unoriginal because this layout that I am using for my blog is the same that Mr. Jefferey Matthew Kummer has for his. Whatever though, normally I'm much more creative, original and 'taking-the-long-way'.

Okay, here we go.

Today was my last hockey practice of the season. That made me sad. We didn't do anything fun at all. We started off practice with the Boston Wheel drill (start in the corner, skate around the main face off circle, receive a pass, take a shot). Then we divided the ice into three sections and divided the players into three groups. One group did a pass-skate-shoot drill, one group practiced passing and one group worked with one of the coaches on all five-kinds of shots. Then we had a scrimmage. That was it.

I tried to shoot like Jonathan Toews of the Chicaho Blackhawks. There's this one commercial on the NHL Network where the announcer goes "Jonathan Towes! Forehand, backhand. What a goal! Amazing! Did you see that Chicago?" So I've been trying to master a forehand deke and then backhanding the rebound. The goalie has shut me down on every one. Today, I got very close. I deked right where he dove for it and I recovered the rebound and blasted a backhand. It bounced off the right post. GRRR.

While on the bench during a scrimmage, I wished I was playing on the other team. I hated having to share a scrimmage team with Robbie. Last practice, I hit him three times. The first two times, I hit him into the boards so he didn't fall down, just got smashed. The third time, I hit him out in the open so he fell down. My team cheered for me. It felt good to hear cheering.

This time, I wasn't playing against Robbie. I wanted to hit him but I didn't have the option. It's sad that it's our last practice. It's even sadder that I didn't get to hit Robbie. I don't like him at all. No me gusta nada. He hurt my feelings after claiming to be in love with me and then two days later meeting some chick and then telling the world how in love with her he was. I didn't like him all that much but it made me feel bad about myself. Hitting him made me feel a lot better because I knew it was the hockey-leagal way to hit him. Maybe next season I'll be a Colin White type player where I just own everyone with my hits of fury.

A Devils game is coming on so I need to switch blogs.

I also stopped a slapshot with my hand today. Let me just say...OW!! OUCH! It hurts. A lot. I thought I broke it. I feel better now, though. Just wanted to say that.

Later dudes.